Ebook Free Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, by Stephanie Coontz
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Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, by Stephanie Coontz
Ebook Free Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage, by Stephanie Coontz
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Review
"Brilliant and invariably provocative. . . . Pick a favourite presumption and Ms.Coontz proceeds to unravel the mythical conceit."
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From the Back Cover
"Provocative, erudite and entertaining. What makes this book so important is its honesty and courage. It raises the important debates about marriage in America to a higher level." —Chicago Tribune "Engrossing. . . Coontz is at the top of her writing game here." —The Seattle Times
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Product details
Paperback: 448 pages
Publisher: Penguin Books; Reprint edition (February 28, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780143036678
ISBN-13: 978-0143036678
ASIN: 014303667X
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.9 x 8.4 inches
Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
109 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#22,868 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
This is a fascinating read for anyone who ever wondered what marriage and interpersonal relationships in the western world looked like 100, 200, 300 years ago. We tend to operate under the assumption that the institution has always served pretty much the same purposes it does today, but Coontz's book shows that nothing could be further from the truth. Marriage, in fact, has served so many varied economic, cultural, political and personal purposes over the centuries that it makes one wonder why people today get so worked up over gay marriage and other changes which continue to reflect the changing mores of western culture. That said, the first half of the book is a bit of a slog; the author giving far too many examples of little known historical characters and the oddities of their marriages. It picks up in the second half (I'm just now getting into that part) where she talks about changes brought about in the early 20th century by the industrial revolution and heightened expectations on the part of women at the end of the Victorian era. This part of the book is just easier to relate to by someone born mid-century like myself.
I read a quote from this book that someone posted on social media in response to the normal clamor about "traditional marriage." I was immediately in awe of this author, so much in awe in fact that I bought the book immediately and spent the next several days reading it. Coontz is an excellent writer and her research is exhaustive. This may be a non-fiction book, and I'm going to guess is used as a textbook in some courses, but it reads almost like a novel. I learned things about marriage -- its roots, function and current influences on modern-day relationships that I'd never heard of in my entire undergraduate and graduate careers! This is a must read book for anyone who is ever tempted to utter the words "traditional marriage" (or for anyone who is tempted to respond to such utterances). You may not like what you read, but truth is truth...and an interesting truth (about the history of marriage) it is. Do yourself a favor and read this book!
Wow what a great book. I usually don't write much reviews for books or items that I buy on amazon but this book definitely warrants one. After reading this book I am absolutely blown away what I had learned and read. Stephanie Coontz has devoted her life to research of society and additionally spent over a decade researching marriage alone. I was shocked to learn that marrying for love, let alone as the primary reason, was a relatively new idea in human society. If you really want to understand what marriage was and what marriage is today then this book will give you the understanding. She clearly states that she's not in the business to project where marriage is going in the future. Also, the author definitely is NOT giving marriage advice. She states from beginning that as a historian her goal and profession, like her fellow historians, is to see where marriage was in the earliest of times to where we are now.As man in modern society again I am humbled to what I have learned and I sparked interest in friends and family into reading this book. The men and women I told about this book have different political, religious and culture backgrounds. To me that's saying enough about this book to grant that type of respect. Thank you Stephanie Coontz for devoting your time and energy into your career and into writing this book. Your book has definitely changed my attitude and understanding into the deep significance of marriage over the many, many years.
A history of how marriage has changed over the course of civilization, from a business or political partnership to the modern quest for a soulmate, this book introduces ideas I view as relevant to my own life and times. Coontz addresses questions such as how contraception and legal rights for illegitimate offspring changed marriage and why among poor people marriage is declining while birth rates are on the rise. I find Coontz's writing to be clear, easy to read, and thankfully devoid of fluff. Fully 40% of this book are her notes and references.Contents:Antiquity:Reasons to marry:Political (for elites): "Marriage spoke to the needs of the larger group. It converted strangers into relatives... Marriage had become the way most wealth and land changed hands... also the main vehicle by which leading families expanded their social networks and political influence... sealed military alliances and peace treaties. Elites jockeyed to acquire powerful in-laws... Only very recently have parents and other relatives ceased to have substantial material stakes in whether individuals get or stay married."Social: Not ok to have illegitimate kids, not marrying seen as immoral or perverse.Economical: "Marriage became a way through which elites could hoard or accumulate resources... The dowry a wife brought with her at marriage was often the biggest infusion of cash, goods, or land a man would ever acquire."For non-elites: "Farms or businesses could rarely be run by just a single person... Most people had a two-person, married-couple career that neither could conduct alone." (reminds me of "The Good Earth")Reasons not to marry:Women have no rights, abused by husbands, people don't like the person they married.Change in marriage leading up to 1950s:"In the older definition of housekeeping, women's labor was recognized as a vital contribution to the family's economic survival... as housekeeping became 'homemaking,' it came to be seen as an act of love rather than a contribution to survival... Homemakers, now cut off from the sphere of the cash economy, became more dependent on their husbands financially... While the new division of labor stripped many women of their identities as economic producers and family co-providers, it also freed them from the strict hierarchy that had governed the old household workplace... shifted the basis of marriage from sharing tasks to sharing feelings. The older view that wives and husbands were work mates gave way to the idea that they were soul mates... Many men and women came to believe that wives should remain at home, not because men had the right to dominate them, but because home was a sanctuary in which women could be sheltered... The new theory of gender difference divided humanity into two distinct sets of traits. The male sphere encompassed the rational and active ideal, while females represented the humanitarian and compassionate aspects of life. Women had long been urged to hold men's 'baser instincts' in check... 'sex appeal' replaced submission as a wife's first responsibility to her husband. In the nineteenth century, most Europeans and Americans came to accept a new view of husbands as providers and of women as nurturing home-bodies. Only in the mid-twentieth century, however, could a majority of families in Western Europe and North America actually survive on the earnings of a single breadwinner."Golden age of marriage:"Policy makers recognized that single male workers and all female workers were being overtaxed to support married couples. But this was seen as a good thing because it increased a man's incentive to marry and decreased his wife's incentive to take paid work... As people married younger, life spans lengthened, and divorce rates fell or held steady, individuals were spending much more of their lives in marriage than ever before or since... Marriage provided the context for just about every piece of most peoples' lives. .. No longer did people postpone marriage until they could establish their economic independence, as had been the case for the middle classes in Western Europe and North America up to the late nineteenth century. Nor was marriage, as had been the case in so many peasant villages, something you entered only after a woman had gotten pregnant and showed that she could produce children to work on the family farm. Certainly it was not something you entered to set a joint business enterprise, as had been the case for many craftsmen and artisans in the past. Nor was it an informal arrangement scarcely distinguishable from just living together, as it had been among many lower- class individuals of earlier days, of whom their neighbors often said they were 'married, but not churched.' Marriage of the long decade of the 1950s was simply the be-all and end-all of life. In a remarkable reversal of the past, it even became a stepping-off point for adulthood rather than a sign that adulthood had already been established."Change in marriage after 1950s:More jobs and the war allowed more women to work, inflation forced wives to also work, better technology made homemaking easier for wives and bachelors so wives had more time to do work outside the home, everyone started marrying later in life, women enjoyed working outside the home and turned from the homemaker model.Birth control allowed sex outside of marriage: "Effective contraception allowed wives to commit more of their lives to work, but it altered the relationships between husbands and wives... weakened the connection between marriage and parenthood, eroding some of the traditional justifications for elevating marriage over all other relationships and limiting it to heterosexual couples.""Breaking down the distinction between legitimacy and illegitimacy ... weakened [marriage's] hold on peoples' political and economic rights and obligations."Modern marriage:"Marriage as a relationship between two individuals is taken more seriously and comes with higher emotional expectations than ever before. But marriage as an institution exerts less power over people's lives than it once did... The fact that individuals now lead productive lives outside marriage means that partners need to be more "intentional" than in the past about finding reasons and rituals to help them stay together....A woman who marries a man with few job prospects may end up having to support him as well as their children... Low income women who marry and divorce later have higher poverty rates than women who never marry at all and their children may suffer more emotionally as well... Their mothers' experiences had convinced them that being a single mother was preferable to entering a bad or unstable marriage...Today stay-at-home mothers are concentrated at the poorest and richest rungs of the population... Managers and top executives with stay at home wives generally earn more than their counterparts with working wives. The wife's activities free her husband to focus on his job, and she can cultivate the social networks that enhance his status. Most families no longer save money by keeping wives at home. They lose by not having wives in the workplace, where women have more opportunities than in the past to earn decent wages...Marriage decreases free time for women but not for men, increases health for men but not for women."
I bought the paperback and the print is so small and single spaced and 332 pages that I had to go back and buy the kindle so I could make the font bigger. I am serious. I am a big reader and this is awful but then it would have been six hundred pages if they used regular size type. Good book and 100 pages of notes and citation...
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